Survey Time: Trek Style
by Frogorn
Summary: (CHAP 3 UP)What happens when the crew of the Enterprise discovers one of those annoying online surveys? Read to find out!
1. Captain Kirk

Disclaimer: I do not own any Star Trek characters. They belong to Paramount. I also don't own the idea of Survey Time; this idea belongs to Christina B. who gave me permission to use her idea to have some fun with the original Enterprise crew!  
  
** Survey Time: Trek Style  
  
Chapter 1: Captain Kirk**  
  
** Note: This takes place all throughout the five year mission no movies**  
  
James T. Kirk had some free time on his hands before his shift on the bridge started. He took this time to check his message on his computer terminal. There was one message from his mom. It said to fill out the questionnaire, send it to her to satisfy her curiosity, and then pass it on to someone else. So, he began to fill out the questionnaire.  
  
Are you left handed or right handed? Right handed.  
  
Are you smart? Yes, I would say I'm smart because I'm a captain of a starship and I can cheat death.  
  
What's your middle name? Tiberius  
  
How many personalities do you have? I have one whole personality, one with two halves, and a good half and a bad half.  
  
How many piercings/tattoos do you have? None  
  
Can you do a cartwheel? Yes, I can because I keep myself in great physical shape.  
  
Do you have bangs? Yes, but I gel them back from my face.  
  
Can you drive? I think I can drive pretty well, Mister Spock may think otherwise.  
  
What do you drive? A starship.  
  
Do you snore? I don't think I do.  
  
Do you drool in your sleep? Only if I'm dreaming of a beautiful girl which happens quite often!  
  
What languages do you speak? Terra (English)  
  
Do you like onions? Yes  
  
Do you like cotton candy? If it has no nutritional value, then yes, I like it!  
  
What instruments can you play? None  
  
What do you sleep in? In a shirt and boxer shorts.  
  
What's your bedtime? Whenever the ship is out of danger or when Bones tells me too.  
  
How many pillows do you have? One  
  
Do you like to dance? Yes  
  
Do you like to sing? Sometimes  
  
Are you any good at it? Ummm well, Bones keeps telling me I should stick to being the captain and not an entertainer.  
  
How many times have you moved houses? I moved from Iowa to the Academy to a starship.  
  
Do you like where you live? It never gets boring I'll tell you that much.  
  
Do you like to finger-paint? When I was little, but not anymore.  
  
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? THIS INFORMATION IS CLASSIFIED FOR TOP LEVEL SECURITY CLEARANCE!!!  
  
Do you sleep with socks on? It depends on how tired I am.  
  
Are you ticklish? Ask any girl I've dated I'm sure they'll tell you that answer.  
  
Are you shy? Hell No!  
  
Do you talk to yourself? Yes  
  
Are you a morning person? No definitely not.  
  
What's your favorite outfit? Anything, but the Starfleet dress uniform.  
  
What do you do when you're nervous? I pace around and ask Spock the same questions over and over.  
  
Who's your role model? A captain in Starfleet.  
  
What words/sayings do you overuse? I don't really have any.  
  
The Last Person Who:  
  
Called you? Mister Spock, something about a report.  
  
Slept in your bed? Some nameless woman.  
  
Saw you cry? I don't cry!  
  
Made you cry? I TOLD YOU I DON'T CRY!!  
  
Spent the night? Again, some nameless woman.  
  
Shared a drink with? Some Saurian Brandy with Bones.  
  
Yelled at you? Bones  
  
Said they were gonna kill you? Almost every alien I've encountered except for Spock of course!  
  
Have You Ever?  
  
Been to Vulcan? Yes, it wasn't the experience to have gone through.  
  
Been to Rommulus? No, I can't say I have.  
  
Been to Qo'Nos or Praxis? Nope, and I don't plan on going there.  
  
Done a Nerve Pinch? No, I watched Spock do it.  
  
Did the Vulcan Salute? Yes, a couple of times.  
  
Mind melded with anyone? Spock mind melded with me, does that count?  
  
Have you been close to death before? Yes, many times and I cheat death every time HA! HA! HA!  
  
Wished you were the opposite sex? I don't know, never quite thought about it before.  
  
Had an imaginary friend? Yes, when I was very little. His name was Sparky.  
  
What was your last meal? Synthesized bacon and eggs for breakfast.  
  
What are you going to do after you finish this survey? I'm going to the bridge.  
  
When Captain Kirk was done he sent the questionnaire to his mother.  
Then he pondered to whom he should send it to next. Then it hit him;  
he would send it to Spock. The idea of Spock filling out a  
questionnaire was quite illogical and he probably wouldn't do it.  
Captain Kirk however added, "That is an order." on the questionnaire,  
then sent it to Spock. He was chuckling as he left his quarters to go  
to the bridge.


	2. Mister Spock

Disclaimer: The same one to chapter 1 applies here. Basically I don't own anything from Star Trek, Paramount does.  
  
** Survey Time: Trek Style  
  
Chapter 2: Spock**  
  
Spock had just finished his shift on the bridge. He was ready to mediate when he checked his computer terminal. There Spock found a questionnaire waiting to be fill out by him. Captain Kirk sent it to him. Normally, he wouldn't bother filling it out because it wasn't logical, but he had to. His commanding officer ordered him to do it. The human half of Spock wanted to sigh in annoyance, but once again the Vulcan half won and so only an eyebrow was raised as he fill out the questionnaire.  
  
Are you left handed or right handed? I am ambidextrous.  
  
Are you smart? Yes  
  
What's your middle name? I will not tell you because it is unpronounceable just like my first name.  
  
How many personalities do you have? Does a Vulcan half and Human half count? If not then I surely have one.  
  
How many piercings/ tattoos do you have? None  
  
Can you do a cartwheel? Yes  
  
Do you have bangs? Yes, they are above my eyes and neatly trimmed.  
  
Can you drive? I do not know the answer to this question since I never tried driving, but I know for a fact that Captain Kirk cannot drive.  
  
What do you drive? Nothing  
  
Do you snore? This is a private matter; therefore I must decline in answering this.  
  
Do you drool in your sleep? Again, a private matter. I will not answer this question.  
  
What languages do you know? Vulcan, Andorian, Terra (English), ect...  
  
Do you like onions? Yes  
  
Do you like cotton candy? No, because it has no nutritional value.  
  
What instruments can you play? I can play anything with string, especially my Vulcan lyre and the piano.  
  
What do you sleep in? No comment on this private matter.  
  
What's your bedtime? Really late or sometimes I don't go to sleep at all because Vulcan's have the capability to go without sleep for several days.  
  
How many pillows do you have? One  
  
Do you like to dance? Vulcans do not dance.  
  
Do you like to sing? Vulcans do not sing either.  
  
Are you any good at it? Since, I do not sing or dance I cannot tell you if I'm good at it or not.  
  
How many times have you moved houses? I moved from Vulcan to Earth, then Earth to a starship.  
  
Do you like where you live? Yes, because I'm accepted for who I am here.  
  
Do you like to finger paint? I don't understand, is this another human custom?  
  
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Never have and never will. It is so ILLOGICAL!  
  
Do you sleep with socks on? Only if I am cold.  
  
Are you ticklish? This not important information that you need to know and plus it is a private matter.  
  
Are you shy? Yes, I guess I am.  
  
Do you talk to yourself? No, I don't need to since I have Doctor McCoy to argue with.  
  
Are you a morning person? Yes  
  
What's your favorite outfit? The Starfleet science uniform.  
  
What do you do when you're nervous? Vulcans don't get nervous because this is an emotion.  
  
Who's your role model? My father, Sarek  
  
What words/ sayings do you overuse? Logical, illogical, and fascinating.  
  
The Last Person Who:  
  
Called you? The Captain  
  
Slept in you bed? Myself  
  
Saw you cry? Dr. McCoy, Captain Kirk and aliens called Platonians.  
  
Made you cry? And alien race called Platonians.  
  
Spent the night? No one  
  
Shared a drink with? I don't drink alcohol.  
  
Yelled at you? Doctor McCoy  
  
Said they were gonna to kill you? No one except the aliens that threaten the Enterprise.  
  
Have You Ever:  
  
Been to Vulcan? Yes, that was where my home was when I was a child.  
  
Been to Rommulus? No  
  
Been to Qo'Nos or Praxis? No  
  
Done a Nerve Pinch? Yes, many times  
  
Did the Vulcan Salute? Of course, I am Vulcan and I've done this many times  
  
Mind Melded with anyone? I mind melded with Kollos a Medusian, a Horta, Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Chekhov, Nomad, need I go on?  
  
Have you been close to death before? Yes, that happens when you are the first officer under Captain Kirk.  
  
Wished you were the opposite sex? No, I'm quite happy the way I am.  
  
Had an Imaginary Friend? Vulcans don't believe or understand the concept of an "imaginary friend."  
  
What was your last meal? I had a salad with herbal tea to drink.  
  
What are you going to do after you finish this survey? I will meditate for a while.  
  
After Spock was done, his eyebrow was raised and uttered only  
one word in the silence of his room, "Illogical." Spock got up  
from the computer terminal and put on his meditation robes and  
got the room ready. Then Spock came back to the terminal. He  
thought for a second to send it to next. Well, since he thought  
it was illogical then Doctor McCoy would like it because he was  
the most illogical human he knew. So, Spock sent it to him. Then  
Spock turned off the computer terminal. He faced his firepot;  
before he started to meditate a thought occurred to him.  
  
"I will never understand the human customs of humor."  
  
After that thought left him, Spock resumed his mediation that  
would last for several hours.


	3. Doctor McCoy

Disclaimer: The same one from chapters 1 and 2. Basically, I don't own anything from Star Trek, Paramount does.

Survey Time: Trek Style Chapter 3: Doctor McCoy 

It was a slow day in sickbay and Doctor McCoy had nothing to do. He decided to check his terminal for any messages. Only one caught his eye and that was from Spock. He saw the survey and since he had nothing better to do he stared to fill it out

Are you left handed or right handed? Right handed

Are you smart? What kind of question is this?! Of course, I'm smart!

What's your middle name? Harold

How many personalities do you have? Only one that I know of… It kind of gets me in trouble most of the time

How many piercings/tattoos do you have? None

Can you do a cartwheel? Maybe when I was young ,but not anymore 

Do you have bangs? Yes, but I like to keep them away from my face.

Can you drive? What a starship? Hell No!, I'm a doctor not a taxi driver!

What do you drive? Nothing

Do you snore? I don't know

Do you drool in your sleep? My pillow is not wet when I get up, if that's you mean.

What languages do you speak? Only Terra(English)

Do you like onions? What do you mean? Cooked then yes, raw then no

Do you like cotton candy? I try to stay away from it is very fattening just ask Jim

What instruments do you play? None

What do you sleep in? Red striped pajamas

What's your bedtime? Whenever, no one is in sickbay

How many pillows do you have? One, it is the standard issue because StarFleet is cheap!

Do you like to dance? No, I have to left feet.

Do you like to sing? Sometimes, when no one is listening.

Are you good at it? Of course, all Southern gentlemen can sing but, not pointy-eared hobgoblins!

How many times have you moved houses? I don't remember it was so long ago but now I'm on this blasted ship!

Do you like where you live? Only when no aliens are attacking us, no one is going crazy, an epidemic, aliens hijacking us, do I need to list more things?

Do you like to finger paint? When I was little kid it helped make me creative unlike someone I know.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Hell No!

Do you sleep with your socks on? It depends on if I feel like taking them off

Are you ticklish? Now, why would I tell you this?

Are you shy? No, you don't believe me then you can ask anyone on this ship and they will tell you I'm not.

Do you talk to yourself? Yes, one of these days they will put me in a loony bin for it.

Are you a morning person? No

What's your favorite outfit? Anything but the StarFleet dress uniform.

What do you do when you're nervous? I pace or bug people with questions

Who's your role model? My dear old dad

What words/sayings do you over use? I'm a doctor not a

The Last Person Who:

Called you? Mister Spock and Jim

Slept in your bed? Some nameless woman (Author Note: I forgot her name.)

Saw you cry? Jim and Spock

Made you cry? Some alien torturing me

Spent the night? No one

Shared a drink with? Some Saurian Brandy with Jim

Yelled at you? Jim and Spock just gave me that damned stare of his that tells me that is mad at me

Said they were gonna kill you? Every alien race that this ship encounters

Have You Ever?

Been to Vulcan? Yes, for Spock's wedding that turned out to be bad

Been to Rommulus? No

Been to Qo'nos or Praxis? No, because that is where the Klingons are

Done a Nerve Pinch? No, Spock usually does that and believe me I have been on the receiving end one time. The after effects are not fun.

Did the Vulcan Salute? I tried to, but it hurt worse than the dress uniform

Mind melded with anyone? I personally didn't do it but, Spock did it to me.

Have you been close to death before? Yes and I also work with death everyday.

Wished you were the opposite sex? Can't say that I have

Had an imaginary friend? Yes, his name was Ralph

What was your last meal? Bacon and scrambled eggs

What are you going to do after you finish this survey? I'm going to find Spock and annoy him.

Doctor McCoy leaned back into his chair and grinned. He thought of someone to send it to and he decided Scotty should be next. So, with a click of the button the message was sent. Then he turned off the terminal and went to find Spock so he could annoy him.


End file.
